Volume III, No. 3, Spring 1976
The Ozark dialect has many colorful expressions which make our speech more interesting and humorous. Below are a few of my favorite expressions which I have heard used in the Ozarks.
Comfortable as a snake's belly in an old wagon rut
Black as an ace of spades
Busy as a stump-tailed cow in fly time
Cooler than the center of a cucumber
Glasses thicker than fruit jars
Last as long as a paper shirt in a bear fight
So poor he couldn't buy hay for a nightmare
Skinny as a plucked chicken
Nervous as a porcupine in a balloon factory
Too lazy to say sooey if the hogs was eatin' him up
Useless as a hog with a side saddle
Walk like you had a cob between your legs
So big you couldn't throw a fly line around her
So full he could crack a tick on his belly
Talk the leg off a chair
Hot as a billie goat in a pepper patch
Freckled as a turkey egg
If he had a brain he'd have it in his hand a-playin' with it.
She's so bowlegged she couldn't pen a pig in a ditch.
He's so ugly he has to slap himself to sleep.
My grandmother was slow, but she was old. What's your excuse?
That's the way it goes, first your money, then your clothes.
The first wash in May washes the lice away.
The ground is so poor they can't raise a row with a pitchfork.
He's so crooked he couldn't sleep in a round house.
Quit hollerin' down the rain barrel. (useless talking)
She's so ugly she could stop an eight day clock.
He takes to you like a hog after persimmons.
Thank you 'til you're better paid.
I'm jumpier than a truck load of starvin' kangaroos.
I don't know the exact date I was born. I know it was tater time, but don't know if it was diggin' or plantin'.
He didn't have sense enough to pound sand in a rat hole.
This country's so rough if you got sick and the weather's bad, they'd just have to let you die and haul you out when it faired up.
The ole cow stepped on my foot. It sure felt good when she got off.
I wish I was a rich man's dog and my owner didn't have any cattle.
He's so ugly, he has to sneak up on a glass of water to get a drink.
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