Volume 7, Number 2 - Winter 1980
Sing Arkansas Sing
Herget, Hatchcoon, Horatio Harriet, Mt. Hershey and Harrison
In Arkansas we got some real cute numbers: try Figure Five and good ole Number Nine Forty-Four and Fifty-Six
For some fine country ladies look up
Allison, Rosie, Charlotte
Joan, Louise and Leola
But be on your toes for beaus
like Cecil, Chester, Barney
Otto, Rupert and Floyd
Arkansas has its share of nuts
there’s Almond and Goobertown
Drivin’ thru?
Pull off interstate 40 and pucker
up at The Loner Drive-In in Atkins,
"Home of the French Fried Dill Pickle"
(Don’t knock it till you try it)
Arkansas
Home of Hope, Joy and Delight
(not to metion Dizzy Dean, Jim Ed
Brown, Johnny Cash, General McArthur
and "Hi Yall, I’M Glen Campbell")
Needmore?
try Tulip, Tulot, Tumbling Shoals or
Toadsuck
Snowball, Smackover and Subiaco
Pisgah, Ponca, Pontoon and Powhatan
Slow down if you’re Hasty
get Calmer
You won’t wear out your Welcome
‘cause folks around here got Heart
so relax and enjoy our Friendship
Tired of darkness? Arkansas has Light
Lookin’ for Romance? You came to the right place
Need a used chariot? Visit Ben Hur
If it’s a cough drop you want, try Wild Cherry
Hankerin for exercise? Let’s throw around a Frisbee
Sing some more, Arkansas:
Cotton Plant, Coy, Coal Hill, Calico
Rock, Clay, Clow and Clifty
Naylor, Nebo, Nail and Nimrod
Our ten-gallon neighbors to the South
think big. We’re happy with Little Dixie, Little Rock, Little Italy and Little Flock.
In Arkansas you can hear a Birdsong
see Fox, Deer, Bear and Beaver
Some free advise:
Rosebud’s a real Bloomer
if you don’t want to come thru the
front door try the Back Gate
Don’t smoke Grapevine
or you’ll wind up way out in Ozone!
Stay in Sunnydale too long and you’ll
Peel, Like to drink, start at
Beverage Town,
At "Y" City you can go either way.
World travelers go no farther it’s
all here: England Scotland, Denmark,
Holland, Florence, Formosa, Hamburg,
and Tokio, Havana, Moscow, Berlin,
Dublin and Sweden, Dover, Paris, Eqypt and Lisbon
Information Bulletin--
contrary to popular belief, Kenset
is not the place where relatives slip
below the western horizon!
Hon, Holub, Hiwasse
Hogeye, Humnoke, Hoxie
Reader, Rison and Rob Roy
Moko, Moro and Mist
(sounds like a voodoo chant)
Bodcaw, Best and Birdeye
Blue Eye, Alpena and Amagon
Tide Water, Tomato and Sweet Home
Flippin? Go to the State Hospital, Okay?
Morning Star
Evening Star
Sunset
(can’t top that--won’t even try)
O Arkansas
Rover, Dover and Clover Bend
Arkansas
Whisp, Witter and Wirth
Arkansas
Sing Sing Sing
Jon Looney
[7]
Missouri Litany
Belle, Bland, Boss & Doss
Competition, Concord, Leeper & Sleeper
Now ain’t it Peculiar
from Aaron to Zwanzig
run the names of Missouri
Apex, Palace & Harmony
Slabtown, Skintown & Economy
Tightwad, Turtle & Tuxedo
from lordly Duke to lowly Elmo run the names of Missouri
Forget the passport here’s where you go:
Brazil, California, Eden & El Dorado
Havana, Atlantis, Dublin & Dixie
Nevada, Westphalia, Congo & Syracuse
Punjaub, Damascus, Cairo & Cabool
Halfway between Bolivar (rimes with "Oliver")
and Buffalo
is Halfway and
down the road is Fairplay
and around the bend is Bona, that’s ‘‘Bonny’’
Some nervous citizens reformed Sodom to Dildy Mill
Land-Office propaganda twisted Snake County to McDonalds
Look Out, Aromatic Creek is a cover for Ol’Stinky
Whoop-Up got busted to Sapp
while Tick Crick tenaciously remains Tick Crick
Versailles, just like it looks
yet Pome de Terre is merely a potato in Paris, France, that is.
The Chamber of Commerce of Commerce
Rolyat, that’s Taylor spelled backwards Libertarians burn books in Liberty
while the Devil’s Racetrack is in the heart of Christian County
Acid & Cyclone
Clever & Covert
Gunboat & Rosebud
Devil’s Elbow & Angel’s Wing
Regal, Rat, Chloride & Cannan
Slapout, Smackout, Dent & Damsel
run the names of Missouri
[8]
Pucky Huddle
Le Coma is as Calm as Tranquility.
Similtudes are Fertile:
poor as Poverty Flat frightful as Frankenstein dull as Doolittle down home as Hog Eye rainy as Oregon bright as Sunlight comfortable as Couch safe as Safe
Posers, Riddles & Minimum Witt
I. What is the name of the baseball team from Argyle? (A: Flint: Not the Tigers, they are from Tiger).
II. On the outskirts of Shibboleth holler, "Corndodgers!
and pass on unharassed.
III. In the wake of the flood the headlines read:
"Wet and Muddy in Dry and Dusty."
IV. Bleary-eyed, after four too many Flip Ginlets,
I saw Bete Noir for Bel-Nor.
Humansville
Home of the redwhiteandflakingblue Bicentennial
Carwash
Who’ d-a-Thought-It?
VI. One road 1eads to Rome and it is "Impossible in High Water."
VII. Deslet Deslet. Get it yet? -- Desolate.
Nemo -- population zero
Skunktown - not many more
Mystic -- 10
Phelps -- 20
Phelps City -- 76
BadoPoloSolo&Hocomo
[9]
Surprise!
Tanglefoot
Champ
Napoleon
Wellington
Waterloo
Hog Danger
Bucksnort
Blythedale
Racket
Romance
Enough?
Sure, there’s an Enough
Needmore?
A-rab & Arno]d
Lulu & Lickskillet
Greasy Crick & Toad-a-Loop
Hume & Plato
(no Aristotle)
Eureka!! Cureall!
Energy! Freedom!
Success! Huzzah! Bustass
Stuck in Gum Creek with the Lone Jack blues again.
If it’s Troublesome you want:
swim Watermoccasin Creek dumb Rattlesnake Rock ski Flat
dine Grubville
drink a Nip of Bourbon in Crook Or, Avert the Strain:
sip some Tea in the Evening Shade
nodaway with the Folk of Moon Valley
And one more time down the line:
Diamond
Dawn
& Defiance
Macedonia
Tigris
& Alexandria
Gasconade
Tuscumbia
& Topaz
Chaminade
Aihambra
& Sycamore
run the names of Missouri
[10]
Out-Takes
Redbird -- Beulah -- Amazonia -- Protem -- Peg-Leg -- Tecumseh -- Speed -- Useful -- Providence -- Braggadocio -- Wipers (for Ypres) -- Blue Eye -- Knobnoster -- Stoutland -- Roubidoux -- Bois d’Arc (Bodark) -- Vulcan -- Zodiac -- Ishmael -- Albatross -- Camel’s Hump -- Advance -- Japan -- Forky Stick -- Murder Rock -- Novelty -- Cuba -- Yucatan -- Yukon -- Buzzard’s Roost -- Hurricane Deck -- Gore -- Eminence -- Rescue -- Bird’s Nest -- Foose -- Helena -- BaJd Knobber -- Loose Creek -- Anaconda -- Hercules -- Arcadia -- Deepwater -- Warsaw -- Pollock -- Kracow -- Carthage -- Frogland -- Possom Trott -- Isle of the Panthers -- Noble -- Gypsy -- Flag -- Charity -- Osiris -- Dudley -- Poker Hollow -- Brushy Knob -- Louse Level -- Aid -- Moody -- Archie -- Bernie -- Jasper -- Coal -- Sue City -- Passover -- Guber -- Plad -- Pacific -- Rocky Comfort -- Pioneer -- Shamrock -- Tiff City -- Triplet -- Koshkonong -- Agnes -- Filley -- Fristoe -- Conception Junction -- Tywappity-inake that-Zewapata Bottoms -- Liberal -- Licking -- Mirabile -- Muffitville -- Map -- Faust -- Fortuna -- Jay Bird -- Tavern -- Jerk Tail -- Ink
Done
Jim Bogan
[11]
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